dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
