There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
