Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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