I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
