i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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