Do vagina's smell?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
