I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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