To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
