I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
As shirtless as possible
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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