absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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