I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
