My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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