Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize