But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
