the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
