you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize