You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
