Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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