i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
