Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Let's paint friendship bongs
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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