I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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