im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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