Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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