she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
