I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
