I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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