The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
