i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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