glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
