This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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