what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
