If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
