with your own penis?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize