He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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