i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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