Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
