You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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