arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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