we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
