How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize