we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
