My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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