you're like a bully in the Christmas story
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Congratulations! We have a period
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