shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
