Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
