Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
