too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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