You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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