I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
