I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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