He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
