I'm going to rape someone's good day.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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