We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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