her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
