I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
