I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
