i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I believe in your delicious
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
