what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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