Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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