There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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